I've had a little laugh from facebook today, and I wish to share it with you all.
Backstory:
It seems, that across major cities and college campuses throughout the United States there has been this ongoing trend of fall/winter wear worn by women. It consists of a few basic pieces, but is still costly to put together.
1. White T-shirt usually oversized and preferably the v neck Hanes you buy from your local superstore (Target of course being the fashionista's choice). This, is the best piece of the ensemble. I love these shirts. They're soft and 100% cotton, comfy, and cheap. Not a lot not to love really. Plus V necks are pretty flattering for most girls.
2. Spandex pants. Ok. This is where things start to go wrong. Why? Well, we'll discuss this later. However Just know that they're usually black, as standard leggings go. However it must also be noted that since this uniform is usually worn on a college campus, they're usually 1. old. 2. too small. 'Why do you say too small?' You ask...well..it's simple really. Beer. Beer + Drunk food= Fatty. If you took finite, you'd know this. Not only does this mean they are wearing old spandex, but usually the bum is too healthy to fit into them in a way that is decent for grandmothers to see and for their lower body blood circulation. But that's beside the point.
3. Ugg boots. Ugg. Enough said. STOP WEARING THESE GOD FORSAKEN BOOTS THEY'RE UGLY. I say that Uggs and Crocs should burn in shoe hades. Good riddance.
4. A fleece nortface pullover. Usually black, but can come in a variety of colors. Northface is a popular and really good outdoor brand..you know...for when you're hiking in the woods on a cool fall day...or camping...or live in colorado and would like something that helps keep you dry that isn't a full blown parka. However are they truly needed for a lovely fall day? No. They're not. Plus can we just gently refer back to the whole Beer + Drunk food= Fatty equation. Fleece...like wool sweaters...may be comfy..but it's not exactly flattering for a girl who is still in her 'i'm a senior in highschool and smoking hot' mentality. Sorry sweetheart, you've gained the Freshman 20. We all do it. I did it..:I just didn't wear spandex to amplify it.
5. (Optional) A badly dyed, dirty, messy mass of hair that is somehow tied up to the head in some weird ass way. It's hard to understand..all you know is that it looks like a dead animal is up in there burrowing for the winter.
6. (Optional) Cigarettes.
7. (Optional Depending on Weather and Severity of Hangover) Oversized Sunglasses. These are fine. I like big sunglasses. I have light sensitive eyes.
7. (Optional but common on Mondays and Fridays) Stale Beer Perfume. Oh...to smell a college campus again...
I'm sure, if you have followed this blog at all, you know the type of girl I'm talking about (and since most of my readers are in college...I'm sure you know
exactly what I am talking about.
Alright. There's the backstory now here is what happened on Facebook today.
Daniel H (his facebook status):
saw some uggboots, leggings, and northface action today....tis the season!
A girl named Katherine: were you at miami? because thats the staple fall uniform here
[additional random facebook comments]
Abby C (me): god damn i wish those walking fashion disasters would just freaking stop. They look worse than their beer, grease, and ciagrette smoke weave smells.
Katherine (yes, that one I just mentioned): ps I am sporting that outfit today haha.
Yes. That's right. She posted that immediately after my mini rant. (i died..laughing...)
It was cause for a good laugh. I am not sorry. It's true.
JUST SAY NO TO THAT COMBO. It makes you look like trash.
<3<3