Sunday, June 28, 2009

Grades and Toilet Humor

So I found out my grades yesterday! I am satisfied with what I have received as it was a vast improvement from last semester (I definitely learned a hard lesson last semester, but I do believe that my improvement shows that I learned it.) I did not come here to make straight As, nor do I think it's possible in my program. I just want to get my damn master's and be done with it, and I will be doing that by August. Huzzah!


Funny Sweden Story Time:

The first few days I spent in Sweden were in Solvik which is an area about 30 minutes outside of central Stockholm. It is a camping paradise next to Björn Borg (?) and Mark Hulio (sp?) 2 very famous Swedes..for various reasons which I wont get into...I was just bragging.

Anyways. They have 2 toilets in this camp complex which are not the typical American hole in the ground with a little stinky wooden house on top. Nope, these things were high tech, electric inferno poop burning machines. No smell (well...except when the incinerator was working), and you get to know what it's like to poo and pee in paper bags. Well, the rule was that boys pee in the woods, and girls can use the toliets to pee in, Fredrik didn't know that rule, and so at 2 am guess who was having to pee like no body's business in the woods wearing a maxi dress? (1 was me). Anyways, so, of course the next day when I decide I can't hold it any longer (I was going against nature at this point and conserving my peeing amounts), I go to this high tech poop burning toilets.

They're beeping with a red light.

This, is never a good sign.

I had not used the toliets before this very moment, I must make this clear. None of what is about to happen is really my fault. Of course, it being my luck, I am the one who feels like the moron for 'breaking' the toilets.

Well I tell Markus about the beeping, and he says it's probably just because someone didn't put enough liquid in the bag and so it didn't go to the inferno properly. So he says to flush a bag of water down to make it work or attempt to fix it.

I did this.

It did not work.

Well, what do to? Playing in water, thinking about how badly I need to pee..and only pee.

Screw it, I'll pee and add water. Can't hurt.

I was wrong. Dead. Wrong. The amounts of water I put down the toilet along with other waste product (hint hint, my release) are now coming out of the bottom of the toilet. This is what I sounded like, "OH SHIT! OH HOLY SHIT! NO NO NO NO NO! SHIT! GOD DAMNIT!" etc.

I go and get Markus. To make a long story short, I went with Jose to go dig a shit hole in the woods, all the while, Markus is fixing the two broken toilets. As it turns out, if paper gets into a certain part of the toilet, it doesn't incinerate anymore...meaning that there is a back up issue. It's a safety hazard if paper gets in the wrong area (talk about setting your pants on fire. haha), so 30 people over 4 days, many of whom were drunk boys (and we all know what happens when you drink too much). Yep. Gross. Gross Gross. Markus, being the trooper that he is, cleaned out both toilets to working perfection. He is demanding a discount/refund from the people. I think it was well earned.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is a testiment to my ridiculous luck with toilets and bodily functions.

Sometimes, it's just better to shit in the woods.

<3 <3

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