Saturday, October 23, 2010

For Sweet Fudge's Sake

The Local is a never ending source for entertainment and information for me as an American expat in Sweden. I get all of Sweden's news ... in ENGLISH! They really prefer to stick to the hard core, no bull facts, like incest in Kalmar between first cousins who wanted to get married....or brother and sister...can't fully remember (I asked Fredrik if he was related and to no longer mock me about being from Kentucky. He responded that he's never made incest jokes about me, and didn't know there was a correlation to the two. I believe I was over zealous with my HA HA! Whatchu gonna do now! approach.)

But today, Sapphire, sent me a doozy during our slightly obscene ongoing skype conversations. Get ready for this one. It's brillz.


Stop the presses. Holy mother of hell. What did The Body Shop do?! Were they advertising hemp plants in store? Selling weed behind the counter? Special relaxation oils? Seriously, what in good gracious is going on?





Oh Sweet Jesus.


But it actually gets better. Some genius employee of Örebro municipality, actually walked in to their local store, and demanded that the store take down their poster because it is deterring their on going fight against youth drug use...you know...because I know soooo many highschoolers rubbing the Hemp Body Butter all over their body for that sweet sweet high.

I used to do it too...it was a bad addiction, everyday for years...my mother included...until I realized that my beloved body butter isn't so natural (PEG-100...not so good for you if you're into that 'I want natural products in my skin, k thanks, dept.) It was a painful separation. I had to go to rehab, and then I went to Lush. 
But, can we just discuss this, most definitely middleaged person (I'm thinking combover and a bad suit...kind of like the nerdy dad from Charlie and the chocolate factory....the one who's kid had a tv addiction) thinking they were actually going to affect the international powerhouse company that is The Body Shop.  
I also feel bad for the sales clerk being read the Riot Act.  Did she cry? Laugh? Or just sit there looking really confused...like...really...confused.

I think I would have just looked at the guy and been like...um...you realize that The Body Shop is a major international franchise and that this town is the size of a deer tick in regards to size of world cities, and that if you really wanted to do something, I don't think that harassing me about it would do you a lot of good. However if you would like to have a free sample of the hand creme, I would highly recommend it for the dry Swedish air. (I've had lots of training in retail.) And can I interest you in some aroma therapy diffuser and oils? I think you need to loosen a screw or two.

Poor Fredrik feels like he's going to be judged by all of Sweden now...that Hemp intense mousterizing hand creme is in his gym bag. 

Don't tell anyone k? K. 

In other news, it did not snow today. YAY!

Friday, October 22, 2010

If you do not see it. It does not exist.

Apparently, it snowed yesterday.

I'm here to tell you it did not.

I didn't see it. Therefore, it did not happen. (Did I manage to spend all of last night not looking out the windows on purpose? That's a different question, what really matters is I did not see snow. No. Not at all. Forget about it. NO.)

Stop drinking the koolaid.

It's 65* and sunny outside with a slight breeze. Duh.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

JOB INTERVIEW!

Basically a month ago, before SFI started taking over my life, I was haunting Arbetesformedlingen website on an hourly basis. The only (I'm not exaggerating here) job that I was remotely qualified for was a part time position as a yoga instructor. I figured, what the hell, I love yoga, I've done it on and off for several years, and since it's a gym that is connected/close to the University, I thought they would be more open to an English speaking instructor. So I applied, in English, and I wrote my coverletter about how I love yoga and what I would want to bring as a yoga instructor. I've had different teachers with different backgrounds and I know what I like and don't like in a teacher.

I basically forgot about it/assumed they weren't interested since it had been a month.

Until they just emailed me asking if I could come in and do some poses and chat.

I. Am. Freaking. OUT.

It's only for a couple days a week, but it's just so perfect, and it's yoga, and it's teaching, and it's a chance to meet people and take better care of myself at the same time. It's just so perfect.

I don't usually ask for luck online, but all positive thoughts for me and this job would be appreciated, greatly. It was a long shot anyways, and so now I have to go and prove to them that my Swedish language skills are not necessary to be a yoga instructor.

Now I need to work on my breathing. Just. Breathe.

<3 <3

Monday, October 4, 2010

Being American makes SFI hysterical

During my pronounciation class today, my teacher wrote these words on the chalkboard:

Hopp
Mitt
Kock

Thought kock is not the same in Swedish as it is in English, reading this in 'swenglish' makes this hysterical. If you haven't already laughed your butt off. I had to keep myself under control during class...

Gotta love Mondays. Now I get to spend the rest of the day proofreading Swedish like we did in 6th grade, and take an adverb test. Holla.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Crayfish!

A couple of weeks ago, my good friends Emilie and Sebastian invited Fredrik and I over for my very first crayfish party. Traditionally, these mildly pointless (but with a point) parties happen at the end of August and beginning of September, as a way to celebrate the end of summer and welcome the start of autumn. Well, ours happened well into autumn. End of September to be exact, and instead of eating outside which seems to be traditional, we ate inside (it was dark, cold and rainy, so much for summer!) Regardless, it was fabulous. I ate crayfish that were boiled and soaking in a dill and other herbs/spices infused water to give them flavor. Though they were a challenge to eat, they were absolutely delicious. I'm officially a fan. I didn't go as extreme as some Swedes (in this case, Fredrik) and eat the guts and junk inside. I stuck mostly to the meat. Anyways, here are the pictures...what you're really interested in.
Traditional party decorations. Time to say good-bye to the sun!

Our dinner, defrosted and marinated, delicious!

Shrimp (or Prawns if you're British) for Fredrik/Me (if I didn't like crayfish. I actually like crayfish much better than shrimp.)

Our beautiful and delicious table! Emilie made traditional/from scratch Swedish flat bread. You can also see 'traditional' decorations, like placemats and super kitschy hats. I loved the hats.

Getting pumped!

I'm just a bit of a dork. You can't help it when you wear the hat.

Slightly gross...slightly awesome, and really good.

This was when Emilie was teaching me how to eat crayfish.

Fredrik is now showing me how he eats crayfish.

We found Nemo!

Gross crayfish hands!

Fredrik's plate at the end of the meal. At least he was neat about it.

gross. :)


I'm already looking forward to next year's crayfish party....but I'm mostly just looking forward to summer returning. :)