Saturday, October 23, 2010

For Sweet Fudge's Sake

The Local is a never ending source for entertainment and information for me as an American expat in Sweden. I get all of Sweden's news ... in ENGLISH! They really prefer to stick to the hard core, no bull facts, like incest in Kalmar between first cousins who wanted to get married....or brother and sister...can't fully remember (I asked Fredrik if he was related and to no longer mock me about being from Kentucky. He responded that he's never made incest jokes about me, and didn't know there was a correlation to the two. I believe I was over zealous with my HA HA! Whatchu gonna do now! approach.)

But today, Sapphire, sent me a doozy during our slightly obscene ongoing skype conversations. Get ready for this one. It's brillz.

Stop the presses. Holy mother of hell. What did The Body Shop do?! Were they advertising hemp plants in store? Selling weed behind the counter? Special relaxation oils? Seriously, what in good gracious is going on?

Oh Sweet Jesus.

But it actually gets better. Some genius employee of Örebro municipality, actually walked in to their local store, and demanded that the store take down their poster because it is deterring their on going fight against youth drug know...because I know soooo many highschoolers rubbing the Hemp Body Butter all over their body for that sweet sweet high.

I used to do it was a bad addiction, everyday for mother included...until I realized that my beloved body butter isn't so natural (PEG-100...not so good for you if you're into that 'I want natural products in my skin, k thanks, dept.) It was a painful separation. I had to go to rehab, and then I went to Lush. 
But, can we just discuss this, most definitely middleaged person (I'm thinking combover and a bad suit...kind of like the nerdy dad from Charlie and the chocolate factory....the one who's kid had a tv addiction) thinking they were actually going to affect the international powerhouse company that is The Body Shop.  
I also feel bad for the sales clerk being read the Riot Act.  Did she cry? Laugh? Or just sit there looking really

I think I would have just looked at the guy and been realize that The Body Shop is a major international franchise and that this town is the size of a deer tick in regards to size of world cities, and that if you really wanted to do something, I don't think that harassing me about it would do you a lot of good. However if you would like to have a free sample of the hand creme, I would highly recommend it for the dry Swedish air. (I've had lots of training in retail.) And can I interest you in some aroma therapy diffuser and oils? I think you need to loosen a screw or two.

Poor Fredrik feels like he's going to be judged by all of Sweden now...that Hemp intense mousterizing hand creme is in his gym bag. 

Don't tell anyone k? K. 

In other news, it did not snow today. YAY!

1 comment:

Urban Pilgrim said...

Just found your blog and love it! At last, another American woman who can understand what it's like to live in this weird country. I am a blogger too, writing about the weird and wonderful in Stockholm (

Ohhh The Local. I know I should read it. But it hurts my brain. I don't know if it's them or Sweden. There is something off about both I think.

I'll definitely visit again... keep up the good work!